Dr. Gates and Officer Crowley
Donna Kornegay
In considering what we know about the exchanges between Dr. Gates and Sgt. Crowley, I would surmise to say that race does indeed have influence here. Race is likely relative for Dr. Gates as an African American male in a situation similar to this based on the perceived power differential and the historical relationship with the police for African American. As a licensed professional counselor, race is one of the many factors that I consider when counseling my clients. We must be candid and willing to address the effects of racism. I want my clients to take control of why they think and behave the way the do and recognize the effects of racism and how it impacts their daily lives. Counselors must be willing to address these emotionally volatile issues within the counseling dyad and not placate the issue.
We offer our client a disservice when we suggest that race is not an issue or it is not a reality for them. The perception of Dr. Gates is his reality because of his experiences as a Black man. It is likely that his behaviors, thoughts, attitudes, etc have had to be carefully weighed based on the mere pigmentation of his skin. I say with some certainty that Sgt. Crowley has not had to consider his behaviors in the same kinds of ways based on the color of his skin. People of color tend to wake up every morning having to acknowledge that they are “a person of color” and wonder how they will experience the world this day. There are many who do not have to make such considerations or even give thought to their own race on a daily basis. As practitioners, we need to be mindful of that and bring it into the counseling dyad so that it can be addressed like any other concern. There is disparity in mental health and in order to close the gap there must be a willingness to speak to that which is uncomfortable.
I, too, would not pick sides because I think the perceptions of the two are likely their realities, and more information is needed. However,there is also the notion that real issues remain that must be addressed in order for equality to be a reality for all. I don’t think we have enough of the story to know who was “right” and who was “wrong,” but there is likely enough to suggest that Dr. Gates suspected an injustice based on his years of experience as a result of his race and responded accordingly. Experiences like these can taint all other experiences.
Donna Kornegay is a guest blogger, an ACA member, and works full-time as a professional counselor at a Law School in North Carolina
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Race may be an issues, and as a white male, I cannot speak to those “feelings:” what I can speak to is the heart issue. From what I read and hear, it seems obvious that Prof. Gates is stuck mentally in a self-generated race-view of the world. Angry diatribes – venting – produces no good communication to the speaker or the listener. It does gratify the ego, however.
“Letting it all come out” is acting stupidly. It is a weakness in character, I believe, to be so open that one spews anger at some imagined provocative confrontation – as opposed to responding to a simple request and clarification of a situation.
It was La Rochefoucauld (17th century French epigrammatist) who commented that “conceit causes more conversation than wit” and this situation supports that contention. Often we vent how we feel about someone or a group, to feed our ego, not to help the questioner or listener.
The wise practice a different kind of communication: unlike people whose mouths are instantly filled with whatever is in their minds, the wise have learned one of the fundamentals of leadership and that is “…. silence is one great art of conversation…”
Proverbs 29:11 (NKJV) A fool vents all his feelings, but a wise man holds them back.
Remember the wise words of Montesquieu: “The less men think, the more they talk.” The wise take a second for thought. Sometimes, they tuck away what they want to say for a time better suited to express a thought. The pause that catches the thought before it’s expression is a sign of maturity.
Leaders, like this Harvard Professor, must remember that communication is always a heart issue first. The thought quickly expressed is often a sign of what is in a person’s heart (Matt 12:34 “For whatever is in your heart determines what you say.”).
What is in Gates’ heart is evident by his behavior.