Comments on: Dr. Gates and Officer Crowley http://my.counseling.org/2009/07/30/315/ ACA blogs, written by counselors, for counselors: Wed, 08 Feb 2012 20:16:39 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Griff http://my.counseling.org/2009/07/30/315/comment-page-1/#comment-83 Griff Thu, 30 Jul 2009 16:24:43 +0000 http://my.counseling.org/?p=315#comment-83 Race may be an issues, and as a white male, I cannot speak to those "feelings:" what I can speak to is the heart issue. From what I read and hear, it seems obvious that Prof. Gates is stuck mentally in a self-generated race-view of the world. Angry diatribes – venting – produces no good communication to the speaker or the listener. It does gratify the ego, however. “Letting it all come out” is acting stupidly. It is a weakness in character, I believe, to be so open that one spews anger at some imagined provocative confrontation - as opposed to responding to a simple request and clarification of a situation. It was La Rochefoucauld (17th century French epigrammatist) who commented that “conceit causes more conversation than wit” and this situation supports that contention. Often we vent how we feel about someone or a group, to feed our ego, not to help the questioner or listener. The wise practice a different kind of communication: unlike people whose mouths are instantly filled with whatever is in their minds, the wise have learned one of the fundamentals of leadership and that is “…. silence is one great art of conversation…” Proverbs 29:11 (NKJV) A fool vents all his feelings, but a wise man holds them back. Remember the wise words of Montesquieu: “The less men think, the more they talk.” The wise take a second for thought. Sometimes, they tuck away what they want to say for a time better suited to express a thought. The pause that catches the thought before it’s expression is a sign of maturity. Leaders, like this Harvard Professor, must remember that communication is always a heart issue first. The thought quickly expressed is often a sign of what is in a person’s heart (Matt 12:34 “For whatever is in your heart determines what you say.”). What is in Gates' heart is evident by his behavior. Race may be an issues, and as a white male, I cannot speak to those “feelings:” what I can speak to is the heart issue. From what I read and hear, it seems obvious that Prof. Gates is stuck mentally in a self-generated race-view of the world. Angry diatribes – venting – produces no good communication to the speaker or the listener. It does gratify the ego, however.

“Letting it all come out” is acting stupidly. It is a weakness in character, I believe, to be so open that one spews anger at some imagined provocative confrontation – as opposed to responding to a simple request and clarification of a situation.

It was La Rochefoucauld (17th century French epigrammatist) who commented that “conceit causes more conversation than wit” and this situation supports that contention. Often we vent how we feel about someone or a group, to feed our ego, not to help the questioner or listener.

The wise practice a different kind of communication: unlike people whose mouths are instantly filled with whatever is in their minds, the wise have learned one of the fundamentals of leadership and that is “…. silence is one great art of conversation…”

Proverbs 29:11 (NKJV) A fool vents all his feelings, but a wise man holds them back.

Remember the wise words of Montesquieu: “The less men think, the more they talk.” The wise take a second for thought. Sometimes, they tuck away what they want to say for a time better suited to express a thought. The pause that catches the thought before it’s expression is a sign of maturity.

Leaders, like this Harvard Professor, must remember that communication is always a heart issue first. The thought quickly expressed is often a sign of what is in a person’s heart (Matt 12:34 “For whatever is in your heart determines what you say.”).

What is in Gates’ heart is evident by his behavior.

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