You’re a counselor, so I know you’ve had the experience of listening to someone with your complete attention. But have you ever had someone listen to you with complete attention? I trust you have. It felt great, didn’t it? So how would you feel if you had about 80 people listening to you with complete attention? This was my experience at ACA when I gave a talk on my current favorite subject—willpower. And how did I feel? Tuned in! Alive in the moment! Focused!

I’ve given hundreds of talks in my professional life. Though I’ve bombed out a few times, I would rank most of my presentations as “good or better.” But sometimes, like at our conference, I am in flow. I am “in the zone.” I’ve always wondered what makes the difference, for me, between a good talk and a great talk. Was it thinking beforehand about what might be helpful? Was it good planning? Was it getting the right amount of input from the audience during the talk? (Was it that delicious cup of coffee I had right before the talk?)

Yes, all those things count, but there’s something more involved– the quality of the audience and the fit between audience and speaker. When you have a good audience, an audience that listens and tries to understand your point of view, it brings out the best in a speaker.

At my ACA presentation, I felt so on the same wavelength as my audience that I told the group, “I think I feel my mirror neurons firing.” And I did!

I had a similar experience talking with conference-goers one-on-one, whether on the plane, at the events, or in the hotel. Each time I met or renewed ties with someone, I felt a little more tuned in to myself, a little more tuned in to others, and a little more alive.

During lunch one afternoon, I couldn’t help but overhear how politely the young woman at the next table spoke to the waitress. “Are you here for the conference?” I asked her. Of course she was. Together we wondered if the Pittsburgh natives noticed that their city had suddenly become a few degrees nicer. 3500 counselors can make a difference in the courtesy level of a city, I would think.

I do know that I was not the only presenter who felt uplifted by the warm response. Our keynote speaker, Patti Digh, also waxed enthusiastic about the ACA audience. I’m willing to bet that many other presenters felt the way I did as well. And I felt those same good vibes when I presented at our local American Counseling Association of Missouri (ACAM) conference last week. Henry David Thoreau summed it up well: “It takes two to speak truth, one to speak and another to hear.”

I used to think the words “Thank you for being such an attentive audience” were just a polite way of ending a talk. Now I know how much power a good audience has to co-create a good presentation. ACA members, your attentive listening brought out the best in me, and I hope I contributed something to you in return!

Guest blogger Meg Selig is a counselor, author, and was a presenter at the ACA Conference in Pittsburgh.