I Can’t Do That, I’m Too Old
Carol Whiteley
Many people feel they are powerless to do anything effective with their lives.* It takes courage to break out of the settled mold, but most find conformity more comfortable. *This is why the opposite of courage in our society is not cowardice, it’s conformity. *As quoted in Think and Grow Rich by Dennis Kimbro and Napoleon Hill
Where did we get the notion that life is pretty much over when we hit retirement? How many times have I heard, “I can’t do that. I’m too old.” Is it programmed in us by our parents or does society “throw us away” after we reach a “certain age?”
I argue against all these old-fogy ideas. We have recently learned that we must keep our brains young by learning new things. What better way to do this than to go back to school and find something exciting and new to explore.
It is tremendously rewarding to be in the counseling program. Yes, I am competing with much younger students since I am already retired. But I have to say that this has not been terribly hard so far. What I lack in short-term memory is more than compensated by my knowledge of what it takes to be successful in life.
Now I’m not talking about money success. I’m talking about the kind of success that brings about contentment and peace. I’ve had plenty of opportunity to learn from failure. I have also learned to be patient with others and my own shortcomings.
But through the counseling program, I have learned that each of us is responsible to find his or her own path in life. We have the capacity to grow and enrich our lives and others as long as we live. I have read about famous theorists who continued to contribute to the field of counseling right up to their last breath. Albert Ellis was giving lectures in a nursing home while he was attached to an oxygen tank shortly before he died.
Therefore I would encourage any student or potential student out there to stop listening to the voice in their head that says “it is too late for me to go to school. Our broken world needs people like us that can shine a light of hope and share our hard earned life lessons.
Carol Whiteley is a counselor in training at Argosy University in Atlanta. http://www.carolsingsoldies.blogspot.com
Carol,
I have been following your articles ever since you started writing for the blog. It seems to me that in most of your posts you are trying to find ways to “apologize” for being in a counseling program considering your age. I really hope though, this is only my impression and that in fact, you are not apologizing to anyone for the choices you made. It is in our power to take care of ourselves, make the best of our lives regardless of our age, and do what we have to do to keep our mind sharp and body going. I also noticed how a few times, you mentioned that you are “competing” with younger students. Are you really competing with them? What are you competing for, and what exactly will the goal of this competition be? I guess again, it is a matter of how you choose to look at it. I commend you for taking the steps that you did (enrolling in a brand new Master’s program)and I admire you for the choices that you made. I really hope you are not apologizing!
Diana Pitaru
When people say “I’m too old,” a lot of times they are referring to aging related physical problems. Cancer treatment has aged me rapidly and I went from athlete to barely-able-to-walk cane user in one year. I don’t say I’m too old, because my chronological age is far younger than the shape I’m in now. I say I can’t do certain things because of whatever specific physical problem that is an obstacle for that situation. Still, I have adapted to life with my new normal and am happy in spite of everything. There’s always a silver lining. For instance, chemobrain–lost a lot of memories. Including bad and traumatic and unhappy ones! Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind! I am, as Ellis would say, remarkably less disturbable. Anyway, good luck in your grad program.