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	<title>American Counseling Association Weblog &#187; Pat Myers</title>
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	<link>http://my.counseling.org</link>
	<description>ACA blogs, written by counselors, for counselors:</description>
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		<title>Hello In There</title>
		<link>http://my.counseling.org/2012/02/06/hello-in-there/</link>
		<comments>http://my.counseling.org/2012/02/06/hello-in-there/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 06 Feb 2012 20:44:10 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>rdanielburke</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Pat Myers]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://my.counseling.org/?p=4976</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[She waited nervously for me to arrive. Her daughter had told her that she needed to see me and that she didn’t really have a choice. She was standing at the front door waiting. Her sweater was pulled tightly around her for protection against the still cold February breeze. As I pulled into her driveway, [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div id="attachment_523" class="wp-caption alignleft" style="width: 160px"><a href="http://my.counseling.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/patmyers2.jpg"><img src="http://my.counseling.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/patmyers2-150x150.jpg" alt="" title="Pat Myers" width="150" height="150" class="size-thumbnail wp-image-523" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">Pat Myers</p></div>
<p>She waited nervously for me to arrive. Her daughter had told her that she needed to see me and that she didn’t really have a choice. She was standing at the front door waiting. Her sweater was pulled tightly around her for protection against the still cold February breeze.  As I pulled into her driveway, childhood memories of my grandparents and then my parents flashed into my mind. They too stood by the front porch waiting. Waiting as we arrived to visit, or even worse, waiting as we left them alone yet again returning to the busyness of our lives.  They would stand there waving as we drove from sight. </p>

<p>Such bittersweet memories seem to prevail for me whenever the topic of aging is discussed. I shook away these tender and painful feelings and turned my focus to her. She invited me into her home, apologizing because so many of the items that she had accumulated throughout her lifetime were already given away or sold. She proudly showed me some plants she had grown from seed. One of her many careers had been in a flower shop. She showed me how to grow ferns from spores, cautioning that it takes time and therefore patience. It is difficult for her to plant seed now as the tremors in her hands and arms can no longer be controlled for such detailed work. She refuses to eat or drink in public now because she spills so much on herself. She feels her choice is between public embarrassment and loneliness. Either way she thinks she loses.  We sit in her living room as the late afternoon sun streams through her front window highlighting a few loose strands of her grey hair. This has been her home for twenty five years. In those years she married, divorced, survived four husbands and gave birth to four daughters. </p>
<p>Her voice trembles as she describes the death of her eldest child and tears appear as she explains how much she regrets the words left unsaid.  She aches to tell her story. She aches for the simple human need to be heard by another living being. She smiles as she speaks of how in her younger years she had a weakness for men in uniform. Her last husband had fought in World War II and came home changed.  She wonders if I am shocked at her sexual exploits as she laughs about some of her experiences. She loves history and hands me a book on China, wondering if I can read it before our next visit. No one wants to spend the time talking about these kinds of things with her anymore. Would I like to do that?  It seems that when her daughter visits their conversations center on her mounting health issues, her limited finances, and her upcoming move to an assisted living facility. She doesn’t really want to move because that means relinquishing her independence but to stay in her home means more hours of loneliness. These hours alone are both cherished as evidence of her decreasing independence and painful as a realization that she is indeed alone as her life nears its end. She doesn’t feel she has a choice about much of anything anymore. She smiles wistfully and concludes ‘that’s just the way it is’.  </p>
<p>I  glance at my watch and realize that 90 minutes have passed. I ask her if she’d like me to visit again. She states that if my schedule allows, tomorrow would be a good day for a visit. I arrange an appointment for the next week feeling guilty that I can’t come back tomorrow or the day after that. She says she understands as younger people have such busy schedules. As I drive home a John Prine song about aging comes to mind. His song “Hello in There” explores the pain of isolation of old age. “You know that old trees just grow stronger. And old rivers grow wilder every day. Old people just grow lonesome. Waiting for someone to say hello in there. Hello”. </p>
<p>I have volunteered as a counselor for senior services for the past several years. Each monthly meeting the same question is asked by the program’s administrator. Can we think of any new ways to encourage people to volunteer? The referral list always exceeds the number available volunteers. Can anybody see one more client or maybe two? It is difficult to find volunteers for most endeavors but it is historically difficult to find volunteers to work with the elderly. Some authors refer to this reaction as terror management. Terror management theory focuses on the premise that people “are motivated to quell the potential for terror inherent in the human awareness of vulnerability and mortality…” (http://www.tmt.missouri.edu/index.html). Older people are vivid, and often painful or frightening reminders of our future. We are unnerved by the physical and cognitive declines and it becomes easier to look away and to stay away. We can manage our terror best by making sure we don’t look too deeply into their faces so that we don’t have to deal with our fears about aging. Out of sight and out of mind. I understand this response and yet I also see the enormous need for connection. The opportunities for personal growth and development abound in this situation. We can learn how to manage that terror in constructive and more psychologically healthy ways. We can take the time to stop to say “Hello in there”.</p>
<hr /P/>< <em><strong>Patricia Myers </strong>is a counselor, an associate professor of counselor education, and doctoral student. </p>
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		<title>Penn. State: The Power of Culture</title>
		<link>http://my.counseling.org/2011/11/21/penn-state-the-power-of-culture/</link>
		<comments>http://my.counseling.org/2011/11/21/penn-state-the-power-of-culture/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 21 Nov 2011 17:03:10 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>rdanielburke</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Pat Myers]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://my.counseling.org/?p=4604</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I am in the midst of teaching a course on social justice in which I use Sue and Sue’s (2008) well known text which requires an examination of areas of personal and systemic prejudice, bias and privilege. It is within this framework that I have been assessing the sexual abuse scandal at Penn State. Rereading [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div id="attachment_523" class="wp-caption alignleft" style="width: 160px"><a href="http://my.counseling.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/patmyers2.jpg"><img src="http://my.counseling.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/patmyers2-150x150.jpg" alt="" title="patmyers2" width="150" height="150" class="size-thumbnail wp-image-523" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">Pat Myers</p></div>
<p>I am in the midst of teaching a course on social justice in which I use Sue and Sue’s (2008) well known text which requires an examination of areas of personal and systemic prejudice, bias and privilege. It is within this framework that I have been assessing the sexual abuse scandal at Penn State. Rereading Mark Kiselica’s introductory remarks (who coincidentally attended Penn State for his doctorate) was a timely reminder that we are both the products of and contributors to our culture. As I’ve read numerous articles on what the Penn State story entailed it has become clear that the culture at this university both produced and supported behaviors and beliefs while maintaining spoken and unspoken rules around who could speak up and who would be believed. </p>

<p>The very environment that encouraged students to work hard and excel, as students and as athletes, created the situations that allowed a man in a position of power to sexually abuse children with little fear of repercussion. In fact, it seems that others intentionally looked away, and were supported culturally to do so, rather than to upset the status quo and speak up to protect children. We all know that collegiate sports occupy a premier position in this country. We value our sports and the coaches and players who sacrifice to entertain us. Collegiate sports departments provide needed revenue for schools and needed entertainment for the country. Often the highest paid employees of colleges and universities are found in the athletic programs. The Huffington Post reports that in 2010 the revenue from the Penn State football program was $70.2 million with a profit of $50.4 million. News reports broadcast during the reporting of this story have stated that the city surrounding the university was substantially built on the success of the university and the football program. So much was built on the rock of the university that making the invisible sexual abuse visible, would have cost the football program, the university, and the surrounding community a substantial amount of money. Even more it would have required a close examination of the dark side of a culture that was sacrificing vulnerable children for the sake of being winners. </p>
<p>It is within this backdrop of power and money, winning and recognition that this story unfolds. One way to understand how this story could have been written for over 15 years without anyone forcing the chapter to end was due to the power of the culture. Penn State provides stability to the surrounding community. The head coach was and is a hero in the eyes of many and a man who has served the university as coach and benefactor for decades. A walk around the campus is a pictorial biography of this man’s contributions on and off the football field. The men who were hired as coaches and administrators were there primarily due to his success. This dynamic in part explains why nothing was done to stop the sexual abuse. In an article in Sports Illustrated by L. Jon Wertheim and David Epstein, a former employee reacted to the head coach’s firing with “It is amazing to think what one man can do to a whole heroic institution if the reaction is faulty”. Sadly, this story is not about one powerful man’s lapse of judgment. It is about a systemic lapse in judgment, a systemic faulty reaction. </p>
<p>Sue and Sue write that ‘social justice is…about building a healthy, validating society for all groups” (p.25). The authors go on to state that a goal of any society should be, in part, to make the invisible cultural experiences and beliefs, visible. An important aspect to make visible is the reality that those in power have the ability to define reality as it suits their purposes. Penn State’s story centers on denying the visible child sexual abuse and on allowing powerful others, such as University officials and coaches, to define the truth of sexual abuse as something innocuous. Many of the articles I reviewed in writing this blog referred to ‘the good old boys” network where bad behavior is overlooked while the offender is moved from position to position (often up the ladder rather than down) in an attempt to feebly protect the innocent downplaying the truth of injury while not having to do the dirty work of speaking the truth.</p>
<p>Believing a child’s story would have required substantial systemic change and that cost was judged to be too high by those who held the power in the system. All who kept quiet about the truth of the sexual abuse were conspirators in retaining the status quo (evidence of being both products and contributors to our culture). Those few who did speak up were not believed and they lacked the power to make sure that they were listened to or to define the reality as one that was serious and needed attention. This process seems to have reoccurred numerous times over the past years and each time a new abuse story surfaced, the person was marginalized and the story was squelched or redefined as trivial. Those in power had the authority to deny the concerns of a mother who wondered why her son being taken to football game required him to shower with the man who was supposedly mentoring him. Those in power had the authority to disbelieve the eye witness testimony of those blue collar janitorial workers who might just be telling tales. Power lies in those with degrees, titles, position and money, not in those who carry a broom to clean the offices or the football stadiums. Those in power had the authority to inform their superiors of the stories they’d be told or the incidents they’d witnessed instead of filing reports with the police. Those in power had the authority to frame the acts they witnessed as having sex with children, implying a consensual relationship, rather than naming it child rape and sexual abuse. Telling the truth that this man, who had served as an assistant coach and who developed a charity to help young troubled boys, was a sexual predator simply would have blown apart the carefully constructed cultural reality of the university and the football program. The secret must be kept as it was tied to keeping the status quo.</p>
<p>If we want to change the system so that this scenario doesn’t continue to happen then those of us who are outraged by the injustice have to speak up and act. This horrific story reminds me of the saying that all that is necessary for evil to triumph is that good people do nothing. Those of us outraged by this story must do something to change our culture. I do not have to be a mindless recipient of my culture’s values. I can increase my cultural self-awareness and embrace those aspects of culture that are “healthy and validating” and work to change those aspects of culture that are discriminatory, unhealthy, or invalidating. I may not be powerful but I gain power in speaking the truth.  I promise that I will speak up whenever I see a child being hurt emotionally, physically or sexually. I promise that I will call the police and appropriate authorities to report what I have witnessed and that I will keep talking until the abuse has stopped and the offenders are brought to justice. I promise that I will work to make the invisibility of crimes against innocent men, women and children visible and that I will not look away and pretend nothing happened. I promise that I will not stay silent with the kind of secret that allows those with power to harm those with none. I promise that I will use the power I have to work for social justice in my place of employment, in my house of worship, with my friends and family, and within my community. I promise that I will use the power I have to work for social justice by holding the politicians that I vote into office accountable for their actions and the legislation they support. I believe we have a choice. We can be horrified by this story and place all the blame on those at Penn State. That is the easier path to take. The other option is to take what has been learned from this nightmare and work to change what can be changed.</p>
<hr />
<p>
<em><strong>Patricia Myers</strong> is a counselor, an associate professor of counselor education, and doctoral student. </em></p>
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		<title>We Are The 99%</title>
		<link>http://my.counseling.org/2011/10/10/we-are-the-99/</link>
		<comments>http://my.counseling.org/2011/10/10/we-are-the-99/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 10 Oct 2011 12:57:08 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>rdanielburke</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Pat Myers]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://my.counseling.org/?p=4415</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Last spring my husband came home from work with the news that he had been laid off again. This was the third time in the past few years that he’d been laid off. The difference this time was in the finality of the decision as there would be no call back to work. The past [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div id="attachment_523" class="wp-caption alignleft" style="width: 160px"><a href="http://my.counseling.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/patmyers2.jpg"><img src="http://my.counseling.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/patmyers2-150x150.jpg" alt="" title="patmyers2" width="150" height="150" class="size-thumbnail wp-image-523" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">Pat Myers</p></div>
<p>Last spring my husband came home from work with the news that he had been laid off again. This was the third time in the past few years that he’d been laid off. The difference this time was in the finality of the decision as there would be no call back to work. The past five months have been spent trying to adjust to the new normal of life in the ranks of the unemployed. We are certainly not alone. We are the 99%.  The unemployment rate for Oregon in August was 9.6% with 21 of the state’s 36 counties in double digits with a high of 15.6%. Of the 14 million estimated to be out of work nationally, 75% have been unemployed for more than six months and 50% have been out of work for over two years. The academic reality of what it is like to be unemployed is evidenced in a recent Rutgers two year study where 32% of participants stated there were under “a good deal of stress” and 47% were under “some stress”. 11% of those in the Rutgers study had sought professional help for clinical depression. Those people were more fortunate than most as the majority of the unemployed can’t seek professional counseling due to loss of employer paid insurance coverage. </p>

<p>Even more of the unemployed are left with very limited options for counseling services because of government cut backs at local mental health clinics due to budget short falls. One of every two participants in the Rutgers study explained that they had avoided friends because of the shame of their situation thus increasing their sense of isolation and having the unintended side effect of shrinking their professional network.</p>
<p>Research reveals that unemployment’s impact also includes lower skill levels making it even harder to be rehired. For those who are unemployed for more than a year the long term outlook is grim. Many will find salaries approximately 20% lower, if they are fortunate enough to find work. Some companies are red flagging those applicants with a record of long term employment as clearly it must be due to the applicant’s deficits rather than the fact that jobs are in short supply. Last summer a local theatre held a job fair for some open positions. Standing in the long lines waiting to apply were middle aged men and women dressed in their business suits with their briefcases filled with their professional resumes. Next to them were the teenagers and young adults who were the targets for these few minimum wage positions. How is it possible to maintain dignity through this experience?</p>
<p>My husband and I have lived privileged lives. As part of the white middle class majority we both have been blessed with numerous opportunities contained in the American dream that came our way due primarily to our privileged position. I know that this current national experience is even more difficult and heart breaking for those people who have grown up without benefit of privilege but who also aspire to the same kind of success that my husband and I have sought. For a personal view of the reality of life for many of our fellow Americans I refer you to: http://wearethe99percent.tumblr.com/. Unlike many of the people who share their stories at this website, my husband and I have some options to draw on as we survive this hard time. As we’ve made our way through the past few months I’ve been troubled and eventually outraged at comments made by a few government officials about the unemployed. Senator Orrin Hatch stated &#8220;Too many Americans are locked into a life of a dangerous dependency not only on drugs, but the federal assistance that serves to enable their addiction.&#8221; </p>
<p>In other words, the unemployed are as much a drag on society as hard core drug addicts and both should be demonized for their situation. The underlying belief there is that those, like my husband, who have paid into unemployment throughout their work lives, prefer to stay on the ‘dole’ instead of working and earning a living. It is the fault of the unemployed that they are unemployed. Senator Rand Paul stated that those on unemployment need ‘tough love’ to get their lives back in order. In other words, the unemployed are lazy and just need the proverbial kick in the butt to get back to work. Others have made statements that the unemployed will not go back to work as long as they can receive the unemployment check because too many are ‘spoiled’ by the receipt of unemployment benefits. In other words, the unemployed would prefer to live on the edge of financial ruin because we are too used to unearned handouts. Why work when you can have a small percentage of your former salary sent each week?  Just this week presidential candidate Herman Cain stated that the blame for unemployment falls on those who are unemployed. So if all the unemployed would just take personal responsibility for themselves the jobs would be there and they too could be rich. If you wondered at all why thousands are occupying Wall Street these few comments should give an idea. </p>
<p>The question could fairly be asked how this qualifies as a counseling issue. The counseling profession is committed to advocacy. The ACA Code of ethics speaks of an “examination of the barriers and obstacles to growth and development”. It seems to me that this current national economic struggle is an opportunity for those of us who are members of ACA and who understand the enormous implications to the well-being and personal development to people of economic injustice, to speak up and to act. I think this is what is driving the thousands of people across the country to turn out to occupy Wall Street, Seattle, Portland and numerous other cities across the country. What exactly that speech or action may be is a question for which I do not have a specific answer.  </p>
<p>What’s your answer?</p>
<hr />
<p>
<em><strong>Patricia Myers</strong> is a counselor, an associate professor of counselor education, and doctoral student. </em></p>
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		<title>The Atticus Finch Effect</title>
		<link>http://my.counseling.org/2011/07/06/the-atticus-finch-effect/</link>
		<comments>http://my.counseling.org/2011/07/06/the-atticus-finch-effect/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 06 Jul 2011 16:43:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>rdanielburke</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Pat Myers]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://my.counseling.org/?p=3950</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[As a university professor for the past 17 years I have come to cherish summer break. Time off from school allows me to recharge my mind, my spirit, and my aging body. Typically I spend summers reading as many books as possible, watching as much baseball as possible, and working in my garden for as [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div id="attachment_523" class="wp-caption alignleft" style="width: 160px"><a href="http://my.counseling.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/patmyers2.jpg"><img src="http://my.counseling.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/patmyers2-150x150.jpg" alt="" title="patmyers2" width="150" height="150" class="size-thumbnail wp-image-523" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">Pat Myers</p></div>
<p>As a university professor for the past 17 years I have come to cherish summer break. Time off from school allows me to recharge my mind, my spirit, and my aging body. Typically I spend summers reading as many books as possible, watching as much baseball as possible, and working in my garden for as long as my back and my knees allow. This summer I am preparing for written comps in my doctoral program. Wanting to be intentional about my preparations, my goal was that my only reading would be professional. That intent lasted for about a week and then my soul cried out to be fed. Fear not my dear doctoral advisor as my fun reading is limited to however long I can keep my eyes open at bedtime. </p>

<p>Since I’d already spent my allotment of book money on professional books, I went to our bookcases to find something I hadn’t read in awhile. Harper Lee called my name. So for the last few nights I’ve been dwelling in Maycomb and picturing Jem, Dill, Scout and Atticus (Who of course is Gregory Peck). I came across a line that has left me pondering for the past days. </p>
<p>Atticus is explaining to Scout that times are going to more difficult for the family since he has taken on the task of defending Tom Robinson. Scout asks him why he is willing to risk hardship for this man. Atticus replies, “Scout, simply by the nature of the work, every lawyer gets at least one case in his lifetime that affects him personally. This one’s mine…” (Lee, 1960, p.83).  I started thinking about what this meant to me as a counselor and a teacher. Do I have a case in a lifetime that affected me? As I thought back over the years, my answer was a quick no.  I could not count just one single case as the number of clients who have been instrumental in affecting and changing me, in small and large ways, is uncountable. Some of the clients who came to mind brought both smiles and tears. One of my first clients was a girl of about 9 or 10. Her parents had split due to dad’s alcoholism. She was so jumpy I couldn’t use my hands when I talked as she thought I meant to strike her. </p>
<p>I have thought of her often over the years as shortly after she finished working with me, her father murdered her mother. I have also never forgotten the 5 year old boy whose parents were heroin addicts. Mom was trying to get clean but life was pretty hard. One session we were playing checkers and he kept dropping pieces and eventually knocked the board off the table. He flew across the table into my lap, sobbing and asking if I would be his mother. I thought about saying yes for longer than I should have. Or perhaps the client that most affected me was the young mother who disclosed horrific episodes of childhood sexual abuse and who struggled to reconcile a loving God to this deeply wounded inner child. Her courage, sensitivity, and honesty still amaze me. </p>
<p>Maybe it was the male college student who trusted me for some unknown reason and began to drop by my office. At first it was just to chat about school or sports but gradually he disclosed the real pain. He sat in my office and cried. His resilience taught me that it is possible to withstand great pain and com out the other side a better person. Or was it the young woman who told me her story because I had noticed in class that she had cut her hair. Because I noticed her hair she trusted me enough to show me the cuts on her arms and asked me to explain why she needed to hurt herself so badly. I learned from her that people can look very good on the outside while they hide enormous pain on the inside. All it took was noticing her and inviting her to share. </p>
<p>I could keep going on for pages. The more I think about this questions the more images from the past are revealed, the more faces come into focus, and the more stories are remembered. The faces change, as do the stories, but the common thread throughout it all is courage and trust. These people trusted and honored me with intimate details of their lives. They came to me unaware of their own deep well of courage, resilience, and strength. How could I be witness to that and not be changed? Being a counselor is an honor and is an ongoing invitation to be open to be affected by others. As you think about your career as a helper, who are the clients who have most impacted you? How have you changed as a result of this experience? How are you a better counselor? More importantly, how are you a better person?</p>
<hr />
<p>
<em><strong>Patricia Myers</strong> is a counselor, an associate professor of counselor education, and doctoral student. </em></p>
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		<title>Recent Court Cases: One Christian&#8217;s View</title>
		<link>http://my.counseling.org/2010/10/27/recent-court-cases-one-christians-view/</link>
		<comments>http://my.counseling.org/2010/10/27/recent-court-cases-one-christians-view/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 28 Oct 2010 02:44:05 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>rdanielburke</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Pat Myers]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://my.counseling.org/?p=2465</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[As a Christian who teaches at a Christian university, there is one discussion that I can predict will occur numerous times throughout coursework for both undergraduates and graduates. This discussion centers on a Christian response to homosexuality. Over the past few months this question has also made headlines due to two recent court cases involving [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div id="attachment_523" class="wp-caption alignleft" style="width: 160px"><a href="http://my.counseling.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/patmyers2.jpg"><img src="http://my.counseling.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/patmyers2-150x150.jpg" alt="" title="patmyers2" width="150" height="150" class="size-thumbnail wp-image-523" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">Pat Myers</p></div>
<p>As a Christian who teaches at a Christian university, there is one discussion that I can predict will occur numerous times throughout coursework for both undergraduates and graduates. This discussion centers on a Christian response to homosexuality. Over the past few months this question has also made headlines due to two recent court cases involving students who see accepting client’s values that differ from their own as an impossible bridge to cross. These students felt they would be in denial of their deeply held faith beliefs if they were to acquiesce to a position of neutrality during sessions with clients who held divergent positions. Both of these legal cases centered on whether counselor education students must counsel clients who are homosexual. These students felt that counseling homosexuals would be seen as an acceptance of homosexuality as a legitimate lifestyle. </p>

<p> I’m sure I may have already lost some readers who saw the word Christian and decided to read no further. I do understand that reaction. There are times I find myself in disagreement with the dominant ‘Christian’ position. I’ve lost count of the number of cringe-worthy moments when fellow Christians said or did something that I felt was in complete opposition to my understanding of how the Bible details people deserve to be treated.  There is no one single Christian position on this issue. This blog post is my Christian response and I speak for no one but myself. </p>
<p>My guiding principle for the treatment of others is that all people are worthy of dignity and respect because they are created in God’s image. My scriptural support for this position is the often referenced John 3:16. This dignity and respect does not rest on my agreement with personal choices or values, on religious or political views, or upon life choices. My treatment of others is built on the basic belief that people deserve dignity and respect. Period. I believe my job as a professional counselor entails treating people according to the Golden Rule. I do unto others as I would like done unto me. I want to be listened to without judgment. I want to be able to explore options first and then review them according to my values. The key word is my values rather than anyone else’s values. I want to make decisions that reflect my core beliefs. Therefore when I am in the client chair I do not want a counselor who is going to tell me what to do according to their values. </p>
<p> I work to create a therapeutic environment which allows the depth of exploration that brings people to counseling in the first place. If I reserve this respect for only those with whom I am in agreement then few would qualify. My experience has been that often people come to counseling precisely because they have been treated conditionally and they desire a space where they can be valued without conditions. I simply cannot allow my beliefs to be the determining qualification for the treatment of others, either in the professional or personal realm. While I do understand the struggle articulated in the recent court cases, my conclusion for these students is that they have failed to understand two points. The first point is what professional counseling is all about. As I read various text books and review the ethics codes, the foundational principle I see reiterated time and again is that counseling is a process that empowers a client to grow in the direction of their choice. My job in this process is to articulate alternatives, identify potential obstacles and support the client to accept responsibility for their choices. Nowhere in this process do I see that these choices must align with my values. The second point that I think has been overlooked deals with my responsibility as a Christian. </p>
<p>In Scripture Peter exhorts us to always be ready with a gentle answer as to what we believe and to do this with gentleness and respect. For me this means providing a safe place for people to explore their issues. Gentility speaks of grace to me and not of drawing a proverbial line in the sand. It means being soft on people and giving them space to do what they need to do. As a professional counselor I know that acceptance of a client creates an environment where a healing process can occur. As a Christian I know that acceptance of a client creates an environment where I have the opportunity to demonstrate faith qualities such as kindness, patience, warmth, and acceptance. As I see it the bottom line of this issue is twofold. The first is that in counseling clients must be able to openly explore, decide, and live life according to their values. The second is that as a counselor I can work according to my professional and personal values and beliefs without sacrificing or denying either because I am not there to judge. I am there to treat. </p>
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<p>
<em><strong>Patricia Myers</strong> is a counselor, an associate professor of counselor education, and doctoral student. </em></p>
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		<title>The Case of Two Kinds of Self-Focus</title>
		<link>http://my.counseling.org/2010/09/27/the-case-of-two-kinds-of-self-focus/</link>
		<comments>http://my.counseling.org/2010/09/27/the-case-of-two-kinds-of-self-focus/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 27 Sep 2010 19:00:20 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>rdanielburke</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Pat Myers]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://my.counseling.org/?p=2257</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[It was one of those hectic stressful workday mornings. This day found me struggling to leave home on time with a cat reluctant to come inside and a new puppy resistant to a few hours of life in her crate. My frustration levels increased as it seemed I was stopped at each traffic light and [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div id="attachment_523" class="wp-caption alignleft" style="width: 160px"><a href="http://my.counseling.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/patmyers2.jpg"><img src="http://my.counseling.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/patmyers2-150x150.jpg" alt="" title="patmyers2" width="150" height="150" class="size-thumbnail wp-image-523" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">Pat Myers</p></div>
<p>It was one of those hectic stressful workday mornings. This day found me struggling to leave home on time with a cat reluctant to come inside and a new puppy resistant to a few hours of life in her crate. My frustration levels increased as it seemed I was stopped at each traffic light and crawled along behind the slowest of drivers. Arriving at work only added to my foul mood when I realized my tardiness caused me to lose out on all the close parking spaces therefore necessitating the need to trudge first down and then back up a very long hill. My ever deepening sense that life was out to get me found affirmation in my overflowing email inbox. I didn’t even attempt to stop the groan and one of those deep long suffering sighs at the 37 messages waiting for answers. What had I done to deserve such a maddening day? At the height of my narcissism and self-pity I was snapped back into reality with an article by Pilar Hernández-Wolfe. </p>

<p>As I was mired in my own ridiculous self-pity with nothing of substance to complain about, people in the world were experiencing real life crises of violence, torture, rape and murder. While I was complaining about minor inconveniences, Dr. Hernández-Wolfe was writing that she sees as one of her “… scholarly and social responsibilities… to make visible the ways in which human rights activists affirm life, peace, and community by examining their altruistic behavior” (p.2). I’m complaining about a traffic light and Dr. Hernández-Wolfe is talking about the social responsibility of human rights. </p>
<p>This fascinating article quickly provided me with a much needed proverbial slap in the face and profound amazement for the positive strengths of humanity. Hernández-Wolfe found that suffering (real suffering not my morning’s absurd idea of suffering) paired with psychological processing has a potential to lead to a stronger sense of self, increased empathic awareness of other’s suffering, and an improved sense of responsibility to others. Instead of the myopic focus that had filled my morning, people who truly faced trauma were more committed to improving life conditions for others. These resilient individuals were more intent on sparing others pain and committing to making sure that horrific situations changed. </p>
<p>Martín Baró found that in circumstances of politically based trauma (such as war) survivors can develop a sense of mission and hope. Hope is “reconstructed” (p.4) through understanding a social network that simultaneously maintains human suffering and supports healing. While sense is made of the trauma during this reconstruction process a deconstruction of “oppressive societal ideologies” (p.4) occurs that promotes the individual’s and the community’s ability to seek change. In other words hope for a better life is sustained. </p>
<p>By this point in the article I was completely astonished at the remarkable resilience and strength of humanity and embarrassed at my own selfishness. Rather than a bleak and depressing discussion of the worst of humanity, this article details concepts such as resilience and how “pain is transformed in a positive manner beyond survival” (p.5). A constructive outcome of the fear that can result from victimization is a process of self-affirmation and reclamation of personal strength. A positive outcome of indignation and outrage can be the ending of the silence and denial that are partners to victimization. All the participants in this study sought meaning in their trauma beyond the traumatic act itself. Included in the psychological outcomes of these participants were an increased understanding of the relationship between their own personal privilege and oppression and an involvement in giving voice to the voiceless. </p>
<p>A strength of this response to life after trauma included the view that these harrowing experiences could be “seen as an occasion for healing and as a celebration of life, justice and culture, which can survive against all odds” (p.17). Hernández-Wolfe quotes one participant, who I believe expresses the courage and hope of the human spirit. This woman, who had been witness to her father’s murder, stated “In the end, this was about not letting them win my soul by taking away my capacity to love and trust, and turning around their ignorance and hatred and reaffirming my commitment to what I believe and to my people” (p.10). As a woman living in relative safety I believe that I lose pieces of my own soul by focusing on my daily minor inconveniences escalating them in magnitude and importance. It leaves me wondering if those who have experienced such horrors are made of something stronger and braver than I can ever imagine or strive to be.</p>
<p>Reference<br />
Hernández-Wolfe, P. (2010). Altruism born of suffering: How Columbian human rights activists transform pain into prosocial action . Journal of Humanistic Psychology</p>
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<p>
<em><strong>Patricia Myers</strong> is a counselor, an associate professor of counselor education, and doctoral student. </em></p>
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		<title>Got Hope?</title>
		<link>http://my.counseling.org/2010/07/13/got-hope/</link>
		<comments>http://my.counseling.org/2010/07/13/got-hope/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 13 Jul 2010 20:47:38 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>rdanielburke</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Pat Myers]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://my.counseling.org/?p=1722</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I have been struggling for the past few months to retain my optimism. It seems that everything in my life was beginning to be burdensome and impossible with few very limited opportunities for hope. Knowing that a large part of my pessimism is a family legacy, I’ve been working for most of my adult life [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div id="attachment_523" class="wp-caption alignleft" style="width: 160px"><a href="http://my.counseling.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/patmyers2.jpg"><img src="http://my.counseling.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/patmyers2-150x150.jpg" alt="" title="patmyers2" width="150" height="150" class="size-thumbnail wp-image-523" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">Pat Myers</p></div>
<p>I have been struggling for the past few months to retain my optimism. It seems that everything in my life was beginning to be burdensome and impossible with few very limited opportunities for hope. Knowing that a large part of my pessimism is a family legacy, I’ve been working for most of my adult life to overcome it. I’ve had good success until recently. I know all the reasons why I ended up in such a hopeless place (some of which I’ve written about in previous blogs) but knowing the reasons doesn’t fix the feelings. This morning after euthanizing our second dog in the past several months I think I hit a new low. </p>

<p>After sobbing my way through a few had to do chores I decided to take a walk. I filled my pockets with tissue and with tears streaming, walked. As I started to the small lake near my home, my thoughts were centered on the pointlessness of life. The existential part of my brain explored all the angst and why questions that can’t ever completely be answered. In Ecclesiastes Solomon wrote about life as chasing after wind.  What is the point of any of this?  It is only on days like today when death or tragedy are unavoidable, when I am unsuccessful in dodging these thoughts and so I seriously look this question in the eye. Circumstances have been forcing this question to the surface more frequently. As a Christian I first go to my faith for answers.  </p>
<p>Sometimes the answers are clear and direct and quickly secured. Lately, the answers have been increasingly elusive which I’m certain is part of my current struggle. Each week I visit my mother in an assisted living facility and wonder about growing old. My mother is not dealing well with the accumulating losses of aging. Hearing her litany of pain each week has only added to my own pessimism.  One of my older neighbors is selling his home and moving with his frail wife into their son’s home. With tears he told me that while he was thankful they had a home to go to he never thought their lives would come to this. </p>
<p>This week as I watched my sweet dog struggle with health issues that we could not fix, I couldn’t help but ask “What is the point?” As I angrily asked God this question this morning, my first sight at the lake was a mother duck shepherding her three almost grown ducklings. We have watched these ducklings grow from the time they hatched. Few survive but these have.  Then a small flock of geese announced their presence and glided across the water to land. In the morning sunshine it was a beautiful sight.  I next heard the familiar tweeting of a hummingbird and noticed that it was hovering from tree to tree just slightly ahead of me, almost as if it was escorting me. This guidance continued for almost half of my mile walk. As it flew off I began to follow a pair of gold finches who flitted from bush to bush ahead of me. This lead to my favorite spot around the lake at a friend’s back yard. </p>
<p>My friend has multiple bird feeders and attracts flocks of finches, and hummingbirds, ducks and geese. I lost count of the numbers of birds in the continuous flashes of gold. As I walked up the path she was waiting with her arms open to give me a hug and let me cry. All of these pieces of experience served to work like a prism focused on my hopelessness diffusing it into millions of fragments. Manageable fragments.  Life goes on. That is the truth. My choice is to respond from a place of hopelessness or from one of hope. This place of hopelessness is why people come to counseling. Whatever the issue, our solutions haven’t worked and hope in ourselves, in others, in God or life is lost. </p>
<p>Counseling works because it instills hope. As Safran and Muran (2000) wrote “…at a fundamental level the patient’s ability to trust, hope, and have faith in the therapist’s ability to help always plays a central role in the change process” (p.13). One of my former clients wrote a letter to me where she stated that her healing came when she looked in my eyes and saw that I believed she had worth. Because I treated her with dignity and respect, she believed she was deserving of dignity and respect. Because I had hope in her she could have hope in herself. This process is repeated countless times each day in counseling offices across the globe. Whether the hope comes from the gift of human connection or from an answer to a problem, or for all the other countless reasons that therapy works, hope is resurrected.  </p>
<p>People straighten their shoulders, lift their heads, take a deep breath and try again. Life goes on because people can be resilient and can believe minute by minute that life will improve. This reminds me of a quote from my childhood hero Robert F. Kennedy: “Each time a man stands for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring, those ripples build a current which can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance.” </p>
<p>Safran, J. &#038; Muran, J. (2000). Negotiating the therapeutic alliance: A relational treatment guide.  New York: The Guilford Press.</p>
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<p>
<em><strong>Patricia Myers</strong> is a counselor, an associate professor of counselor education, and doctoral student. </em></p>
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		<title>Inherent Human Goodness</title>
		<link>http://my.counseling.org/2010/06/10/inherent-human-goodness/</link>
		<comments>http://my.counseling.org/2010/06/10/inherent-human-goodness/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 10 Jun 2010 13:54:24 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>rdanielburke</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Pat Myers]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://my.counseling.org/?p=1496</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[We are now on day 51 of the BP Oil Spill. Each day I have watched the news accounts and felt increasing hopelessness and despair. The recently released pictures of the sea birds drowned in oil, helpless and sinking were images I have not been able to shed. My dreams have been filled with images [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div id="attachment_523" class="wp-caption alignleft" style="width: 160px"><a href="http://my.counseling.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/patmyers2.jpg"><img src="http://my.counseling.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/patmyers2-150x150.jpg" alt="" title="patmyers2" width="150" height="150" class="size-thumbnail wp-image-523" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">Pat Myers</p></div>
<p>We are now on day 51 of the BP Oil Spill. Each day I have watched the news accounts and felt increasing hopelessness and despair. The recently released pictures of the sea birds drowned in oil, helpless and sinking were images I have not been able to shed. My dreams have been filled with images of the gushing oil that is inescapable and pollutes everything. I live in Oregon, thousands of miles from this devastation. What must it be like for those who live there, for those who must once again be brave and strong and resilient? For those who can see, smell, and touch this disaster? I can only imagine the heartbreak of the loss of human life, the damage to financial security, and family stability, and seeing the environmental damage to land and wildlife that are loved. </p>

<p>An article in the morning newspaper referenced concerns for the community mental health of those dealing with this current crisis on the heels of Hurricane Katrina. We know as counselors that natural disasters can lead to mental health issues for survivors and first responders. A 1993 study following the Exxon Valdez spill found that approximately 10% of the community experienced mental health consequences as serious as the environmental consequences. So when I hear the dire predictions that it may be well into August before this spill is stopped and perhaps decades before the environmental damage is repaired (if ever) I wonder what is happening to the people? </p>
<p>Priscilla Dass-Brailsford wrote an article (After the Storm: Recognition, Recovery, and Reconstruction) following Hurricane Katrina detailing her volunteer experiences as a mental health counselor providing support to survivors. As I work through my own response to this current nightmare two passages stood out to me as important to remember. First, “All disaster survivors must learn how to manage a shattered world, to mourn unraveled relationships, and to cope with having witnessed death and destruction. Such coping decreases confusion and increases resilience by ultimately creating, physical, emotional and spiritual balance” (p.26).  This is a well known therapeutic process. Any of us working with survivors know that it takes time to reconstruct our schema of the world and once reconstructed this schema is never quite as innocent as it was before. AS counselors, we can respond to this need on positive and proactive ways. </p>
<p>The second quote that struck me seemed incongruous to disaster and crisis. “Disasters allow the inherent good in people to emerge…”  (p. 27).  As I’ve listened to commentators railing against BP, against off-shore drilling, rampant greed, oil addiction, and the callous disregard of the earth, I had forgotten this part. People are stepping up to do what they can in both small and large ways to deal with this disaster. From volunteers cleaning beaches to churches praying for their local fishermen to professional football players showing up to bring a smile, there is good in the midst of this horrible situation. </p>
<p>I don’t believe it is enough to just relax and rest on the thought that inherent good is emerging. It has to emerge in me as an individual and in us as a profession. The New Orleans Saints are raffling a super bowl ring hoping to raise a million dollars towards oil spill relief.  What ideas do you; the readers of this blog, have to respond to this current disaster in ways that provides support and give hope? </p>
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<p>
<em><strong>Patricia Myers</strong> is a counselor, an associate professor of counselor education, and doctoral student.</em>  </p>
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